Severus and his Siblings
by TradgediezpainfulKISS
Summary: Severus has nine sisters, and there all visiting for the summer. Swearing and the sort.


A house full of his sisters. Great. It was not as if he hated them, he loved them all. But the problem was when all of them got together because not one of them could stand Sapphire. And he was sure if he didn't kill her that his fraternal twin, Sirianna would. At that would mean the Aurors would have to come and break up another fight involving Sapphire and one of his many sisters. For the youngest, Sapphire sure was a bitch- even by his standards. Worsening matters was the fact that the Order would be meeting at his inherited manor shortly.

"I was feeling' pretty down. Till my girlfriend came around. We're just so alike in every way I gotta say. In fact I just thought I might pop the question there that night. I was kissing her so tenderly. But woe is me. Who would have guessed, her family crest I'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh and son of a gun it's just like the one on me. Tell me how was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated. What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with eleven toes and move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?"

Not only were Stacey and Siobhan singing Weird Al- they were singing it purposely awful. He couldn't help but admire the creative lyric changes though. And he could hardly yell at them for being their naturally flamboyant selves. It would have been like expecting Sirianna to be girly, or Sarah to actually wake up before the sun went down. It would be like expecting the other twins, Sienna and Sierra to actually say something intelligent. And it would be like expecting Suri not to be so damn sensitive.

"Shut the hell up! I'm sleeping!" Sarah groaned from the couch where she had been sleeping for an insane amount of time.

From his chair Severus stood up and yelled as loud as he could, with Stacey and Siobhan joining in from their seats on one of the other couches.

"Oh no Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (Yeah, yeah)I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated. What a bummer, can't blink, I can't cough, and I can't sneeze. But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now. Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated."

"If you don't shut the fuck up right **now** your head **IS** going to be separated!"

He got up close to her face and screamed as loud as he could. "You're a bitch but, I love you anyway. OH You can't sing but, you still put me to sleep, you're a bitch-Hey Hey Hey Hey. Yeah you're a bitch but I love you anyway .So why don't you... Stay?"

He was awarded with a punch that landed on his ribs. He laughed and tackled her, pinning her down.

"Get off me!" Sarah ordered but he ignored her, launching into another song.

"And it's wake up time. Time to open your eyes! And rise and shine 'Cause it's wake up time. It's time to open your eyes!" He bounced up and down and soon she begrudgingly agreed to get up, going into the kitchen for coffee no doubt.

"We should make a family band." Siobhan said.

"Hell yeah." Stacey agreed, nodding energetically.

"Yeah, great idea- all ten of us in one band." He said in a fake happy and excited voice.

Stacey stuck her tongue out. "But we would let you be like drummer of something, Sev."

He rolled his eyes. "I am the best singer in this house. And the OLDEST- I would totally be lead singer."

"He's got a point there, Stacey." Siobhan said, knowing full well his voice was amazing- a fact he hid from almost everyone but his family.

"Of course I've got a point- I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't." He said, acting dramatically arrogant.

"This is why mom and dad hated you the most." Siobhan teased all though the fact was true.

Severus was about to retort when to shrill screams carried down. Soon the twins came screaming from downstairs with Sirianna on their tails- her wand raised and ready.

"You dumb bitches! I'm going to rip your fucking faces off! Stay out of my room!" Sirianna was clearly enraged.

The twins dodged a hex and ran behind Severus, quivering. He sighed; he had been expecting the twins to do something stupid.

"What the hell did they do now?" He asked.

Sirianna glared right through him. "Those imbeciles thought it would be funny to replace all my clothes with pink and they have TEN seconds to fix it before my feet go down their throats!"

Severus glared behind him where Sienna and Sierra were hiding. "Why do you things that piss her off? It never ends well for you two?" He shook his head.

"Why don't you just stay out of her room?" Sarah groaned, coming in with a can of Monster.

"Technically, Sleeping Beauty," Sienna started.

"It isn't her room," Sierra continued.

"It's all Sev's."

Severus gave them a shut the hell up look. "I'm telling you once more, if you two go in her room again, I'm going to let her beat you senseless."

"You sound just like Dad when you talk like that." Sierra said.

He glared. "Tell me I am like dad would more fucking time and I'll kill you." He hissed.

"Yeah, Sev isn't anything like Dad. You shouldn't talk to him like that you two." Suri's soft voice sounded as she and Sapphire walked into the room. She looked hurt at the way the twins spoke to him and he smiled at her.

"It's okay, Suri." He assured.

Beside her Sapphire rolled her eyes as Sarah belched loudly. "It's like a fucking house full of morons."

And at that Suri burst into tears. Again.


End file.
